Royally Screwed by Valerie Seimas

Posted January 21, 2015 by E.J. Roberts in 4 Stars, Adult, Book Review, Comedy, Kindle Unlimited, Romance / 1 Comment

Royally Screwed by Valerie SeimasRoyally Screwed by Valerie Seimas
Genres: comedy, Romance

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Kat doesn’t believe in happily-ever-afters – and she’s far too practical to believe in fairytales. Royalty may be on the guest list of the parties she works but Prince Charming never shows up. She’s definitely not the damsel in distress he’d be looking for either; she can take care of herself, her brother the emotional artist, and anyone else that comes along just fine.

Sebastian, the Royal Rebel of Sezynia, doesn’t believe in love or commitment – he’s more into one-night stands. His greatest ambition in life is to be James Dean, not a king. But to prevent his conniving cousin from taking the throne, that’s exactly what he has to be. There’s just one small problem – Sebastian has to be married to do it. Not an easy feat for the guy who’s spent his life avoiding all sense of responsibility.

When Sebastian and Kat meet its fate – the prince definitely needs a lesson in propriety. But Kat has doubts – princes and propositions were never part of her plan. Then again, where’s the harm in helping the flirty prince find a wife anyway?

My Review:

Kat is a tough, strong New Yorker who doesn’t take anything from anyone. She’s long taken care of herself and her brother and she doesn’t need any help, thank you very much. And that definitely included spoiled princes.

Sebastian is the Playboy Prince of Sezynia. He’s only months away from his 30th birthday and the ultimatum has come down. Get married or lose the throne to your cousin. However, he has absolutely no interest in marriage, preferring one-night stands. He doesn’t believe in love and figures if he ever marries at all, it will be for duty only.

Sergei is the long-time suffering steward who follows Sebastian around and tries to keep him out of trouble, with little affect on the prince’s behavior. In his quest to find the prince a suitable wife, he has a party thrown for Sebastian. The only requirement? Only proper, eligible women are to be there. Absolutely NO female waitstaff at all. Unfortunately, Blaze, Kat’s brother, was down with the flu and couldn’t take his shift. In order to save his job, Kat covers for him. However, Prince Sebastian seems to have a radar built in specifically for the improper female. Anything that would drive his father nuts is exactly what he’s looking for. If he doesn’t have to commit, even better.

Even though she’s not a true damsel in distress, Sebastian helps her take out the trash after she takes care of a sous chef who’s a wee bit too handy with those hands of his. Thinking she’s going to get fired for it, she might have drunk a tad bit too much alcohol and found herself falling for Sebastian’s charms. When it was all said and done, she knew it wouldn’t work in a million years. She was too practical and he was too commitment phobic. However, she could help Sebastian find a wife and keep the throne of his country. It shouldn’t be too hard to find someone who met the Prince’s high standards and was okay with marrying royalty for status and money.

This story was a lot of fun. It does follow the tried and true path in one of these stories. We all know how they start and we all know how they end. However, how the author gets you there is the beautiful thing. Valerie does a great job in keeping the story moving along and showing how Sebastian grows and changes, taking Kat along with him for the ride. The ONLY reason this got a 4-star rating instead of a 5 is a snafu in a lot of conversation mid-way through the book. There are so many “rules” and “guidelines” on how to handle conversation for writers that it gets difficult to know which ones to follow. Unfortunately, Kat and Sebastian were placed in the middle of a party where everyone was talking. I got completely lost and I still have no clue who was talking at any given moment. But how does one break that up without a lot of ungainly, small paragraphs that are distracting in their own way? Perhaps she did the best she could with the restrictions she was handed.

THEN, I hit what I think of as the tipping point. There was a point in the book where I couldn’t put it down for anything. Not even when my bedtime came and went and I knew I’d regret it in the morning. I had to find out how it would end! And I wasn’t disappointed. The ending was you would expect and yet not what you expect. She did a stellar job.

As a warning upfront. If things like this bother you, then well, you’ve been warned. Her brother was mentally ill with an illness I know well. He’s also gay and Valerie wasn’t shy in letting us know about Blaze’s boyfriend. Kat also has a rather outspoken friend by the name of Lane. She also has quite the mouth on her, and even a bet with her mother to forever get out of social events she hated couldn’t keep her language clean. However, it seemed to fit her personality. There are also two detailed explicit scenes in the book. I’ll leave it up to you to decide if they were warranted or not. I personally didn’t find they distracted from the story line at all. I definitely have no problems recommending this book to others who like this genre.

Enrolled in the Kindle Unlimited program at the time of this review.


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